


I Rise With The Moon

by Dyce



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Angst, Dark, F/M, Has actually made people whimper and call me evil, Murder, Psychological Trauma, Rape, Torture, Trauma, proceed with caution!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-20
Updated: 2013-09-20
Packaged: 2017-12-27 04:09:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/974153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dyce/pseuds/Dyce
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>VERY DARK AND TRAUMATIC DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE EASILY UPSET. Zuko isn't quite able to intercept the lightning Azula flings at Katara during the final Agni Kai. At Azula's mercy, Zuko and Katara are both made to suffer for the 'wrongs' they have done her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Rise With The Moon

**Author's Note:**

> For Yin. I am so sorry.

Azula laughed.

She laughed and laughed, when Zuko moved a fraction too slowly and lightning struck Katara down. She laughed when Zuko turned, calling out Katara's name, and fire lanced into his back and the last thing he saw was Katara's limp, unmoving body.

She laughed when she told Zuko that she had been crowned Fire Lord. That the Avatar had come looking for him and for the waterbender, and she had shown him charred bones. That he had tried to kill her, but she'd wept crocodile tears and promised peace for the world under her rule.

She smiled a sweet, poisonous smile when she told him that Katara was still alive, but in a coma. She would probably die sooner or later, but for now, she was being given water and broth, trickled drop by drop down her throat. After all, she was still a valuable prize... and such a convenient reward for anyone who pleased Azula. After all, since she was unconscious and dying, it wouldn't matter to her what use her body was put to, would it?

She laughed when Zuko screamed in fury, beating his bound body against the bars.

She didn't laugh when he was tortured. No, then she purred, scratching the characters for her name into his chest with pointed fingernails. When a hot brand was held to the good side of his face, scarring his cheek with the characters for 'traitor' and 'coward', she was all but moaning in pleasure.

She would take her time over him, she promised him. She intended for it to last a year. When the scars on his face had healed, she would take an eye. Only one, she assured him. She wanted him to see what else she did to him, and it was all he could do not to scream as she explained her plans to him. She wasn't going to let him die, she assured him. She would maim him, flay him inch by inch, geld him, cut off ears and tongue and fingers and toes and arms and legs, but she wouldn't let him die.

Not until the anniversary of her coronation. Then she would celebrate.

He didn't beg for mercy. He knew she would have none, not for him. But he begged her to return Katara to the Avatar. For the Fire Nation, he argued. The Avatar valued his waterbending master. Return her and buy his goodwill.

Azula laughed, and patted his burned and oozing cheek. "Oh, Zuzu. I don't need the Avatar's goodwill. I need him here in the dungeon with you. And I won't let _him_ die after only a year, I promise."

"Azula, you don't know how powerful he is - "

"He's just a child," Azula snapped. She'd seemed so calm, lately, as if having Zuko to torture had let her regain some of her lost sanity, but now Zuko saw the mad brightness in her eyes again. "He can't outwit me. Nobody can outwit me."

Zuko snorted. "Oh, please. You couldn't capture the Avatar even with me helping you."

That cost him three toenails, but it was worth it to stop her laughter.

A week later, she told him that Katara had woken up. Asked with vile sweetness if he wanted to see his 'little girlfriend'. If perhaps they'd like to catch up. And laughed when he screamed curses at her when Katara was dragged in.

The coma had no doubt caused her pitiful thinness and weakness. But Zuko knew the source of the bruises scattered over her body and the haunted look in her eyes, and he screamed until his voice was gone, telling Azula he would kill her, swearing that if anyone ever touched Katara again they would burn, burn to ashes.

Azula laughed, of course. But Katara smiled a tiny, broken smile at him, from behind Azula's back, and shook her head slightly. She mouthed a single word, with bloodied lips, and didn't struggle when she was dragged away again.

Wait. Why did she want him to _wait_?

But she'd asked it of him, so he did. He stopped antagonizing Azula. He let her think she'd broken him, screaming and begging for mercy when he was tortured, hoping that keeping her attention on himself would keep her away from Katara. Even just for a little while, if he could protect her for a little while...

* * *

Katara understood, now.

Wherever Hama was now, Katara owed her an apology. She hadn't understood what it did to the mind, to be held and tortured. The hatred that flowed through the blood like poison, sustaining you even as it ate away at everything you were...

So she waited. She endured the assorted torments Azula chose to inflict on her, and she waited.

And then the full moon came.

Katara felt it rise, even underground. She stood up, running her hands over herself, letting her own blood fill with healing strength. Then she walked to the door, looking through the barred opening. "Guard?"

He turned and looked at her, a hatefully familiar face. (Most of Azula's 'special' guards were vilely familiar to Katara now.) So she felt no remorse at all when she took hold of his blood and forced him to open the door. He had a sword, and she took it. She cut his throat slowly and clumsily, and left him there to bleed.

Still naked, bloodied sword in hand, she walked through the Fire Lord's secret prison and left a trail of death in her wake. Some she killed with bloodbending, closing their throats and watching them claw their own throats bloody trying to breath. Others, when she judged their screams would not be heard, she killed more slowly, hacking at them with a novice's clumsiness, cutting off the hands and other parts they'd used to hurt her and leaving them to bleed out.

She remembered the way to Zuko's cell. The other cells she left, for now. After Azula had been dealt with, they could release the other prisoners. After.

The man guarding Zuko's cell was unfamiliar so she merely broke his neck, not feeling any particular need to make him suffer. She stepped over him into the cell, and saw Zuko.

His face was scarred on both sides now, and the strange canvas _thing_ that bound his arms and legs was stained with blood. But he woke when she unlocked the barred door to his part of the cell, and his eyes were alert enough. "Katara," he breathed. "How - "

"The full moon." She knelt beside him to unfasten the buckles. "Remember the time I told you about bloodbending?" The time they'd gone after the Southern Raiders. When she'd forgiven him. A lifetime ago now.

"Yes." He let her unbuckle him, then got shakily to his feet. There were scars all over him now, and burns and cuts that hadn't healed yet, but Katara judged that he was still mostly intact. She laid her hands on his chest, and let healing pour through him. It felt strange - the pure energy of healing was so like the corrupt power of blood-bending, yet it felt so different...

He relaxed as his pain eased, then lifted her hands gently from his chest. "Save your strength," he said grimly. "We still have to get out. I'll be fine."

She looked at the hands clasping hers and was surprised. She could no longer bear to be touched, or so she'd thought, but Zuko's warm, calloused hands felt exactly as they always had, not unpleasant at all. "All right. I'll do more later."

He pulled off the dead guard's tunic and gave it to her to wear, taking the pants for himself. Somewhat covered, they continued.

Zuko stopped her, when she wanted to kill one of the guards, and she turned on him in fury only to see equal fury in his golden eyes. "You've killed plenty," he said grimly. "Let me have my turn."

Anger suddenly drained out of her, and she nodded. She wasn't the only one who needed her vengeance... and Zuko was no more merciful than she had been. Although he did stop to ask questions, once or twice.

That told them where Azula's secret passage was. The one that led from the secret prison to the Fire Lord's own chambers.

Azula was sleeping when they crept into the room, both blood-spattered now, leaving a trail of red footprints. When Zuko chuckled quietly her eyes opened, and she sat up, frowning. "Who _dares_ intrude on the Fire Lord's slumber?" she snapped, looking around.

Zuko lit all the lamps with a pass of his hand, so they both saw Azula's face clearly as it went slack in sudden terror. "Hello, Azula," Zuko said grimly. "Want to tell me again how nobody can outwit you?"

She opened her mouth to scream and then stopped suddenly. Katara smiled, and flexed her fingers. "No screaming, Azula," she said gently. "How does it feel to not be able to move... or scream... or fight back?"

Azula fought hard, but the moonlight was pouring in through the windows and Katara was awash with power. She made Azula get out of bed, walk towards them and kneel before them, her eyes wide with horror.

Zuko's fists clenched on his stolen swords. "You're a monster," he said grimly. "Mom was right about you."

Azula keened through the teeth Katara had locked together, her pupils flaring and contracting wildly. She was still trying to fight Katara's hold when Zuko lifted his sword over her head.

Katara took hold of Zuko's arm, and once again found the touch didn't make her skin crawl. "Not with the sword," she murmured.

"Why not?"

"Because a Fire Lord isn't supposed to use weapons. She mentioned it." Katara rested her cheek against Zuko's thin shoulder, finding it strangely comforting. "No. Did she tell you what she told everyone about us?"

"That we were dead. Yes. She wanted to keep us for her private amusement." Zuko looked down at her, his dreadfully scarred face softening a little.

"But we're not. She took the rightful heir - the oldest, the one who'd actually negotiated for peace - and locked him up and tortured him, after cheating in the Agni Kai that was supposed to settle the succession. She cheated. That means you won." Katara cocked her head thoughtfully. "She's a coward."

"Yes," Zuko said, frowning. "I suppose she is. But we do have to kill her, you know."

"No, we don't." Azula's eyes narrowed at this, and Katara smiled and patted her cheek. "She's going to kill herself."

"No!" Azula hissed, when Katara allowed her to speak. "I won't! I'm not a coward! I'll beat you, I'll..."

"No, I don't think so." Katara looked at the secret door that was now wide open. "I think that when we fought our way out of there, and you saw us standing here, all covered with blood, you realized that you'd lost and threw yourself out of the window. It's quite high, isn't it?" A single glance had told her that - the Fire Lord, it seemed, liked to look down upon his people.

"No... no!" Azula's body rose and began walking towards the window. "How are you doing this? It's not possible!"

"It does work," Zuko said reflectively. "They'll find her body - it's not such a long drop that the body won't be mostly intact. And since she didn't scream, and there'll be no cuts or burns on the body..."

"It's almost as good as a written confession." Katara lifted Azula into the window-frame, tilting her forward so she could see the drop. "Any last words, Azula?"

"Stop it. Stop it!" Even muffled by her clenched teeth, her voice was frantic now. "You can't do this to me!"

"You know, it's funny," Katara said thoughtfully. "I couldn't have, before. I'd never killed anyone. I didn't even like hurting people. Zuko can tell you - I couldn't even kill the man who murdered my mother. But you changed me. This is all your doing, Azula. You've made me like you. Aren't you proud?"

From the way Azula screamed when Katara loosened her hold and let the other girl fall, she didn't seem very proud. But Katara hadn't really cared anyway.

For some reason, she found herself crying. Zuko put his arms around her and she leaned against his chest, bitter tears pouring over his scars and cuts as the doors opened and Azula's guards rushed in.

* * *

Azula hadn't made herself beloved, in the months she'd ruled. When her brother appeared, marks of torture clear all over him, when her secret dungeons disgorged their bodies and their shattered victims, there was very little resistance to Zuko's succession to the throne. He did what he could for his fellow victims, many of them loyal aides or administrators who had never known why Azula suddenly turned against them. (Li had survived. Lo had not. Zuko made what provision he could for the living twin, but wasn't surprised when she drowned herself a few days after her release.)

Katara could not endure closed doors, or anyone's touch but Zuko's. He selected one of the pleasure gardens with a large, open-sided building meant for performance and viewing of summer flower-dances and made it hers, giving her the keys to the gates and promising that nobody would approach her without her permission. Surrounded by gurgling streamlets and flowers, without so much as a paper screen between herself and the sky, perhaps she would feel a little better.

She seemed to be, until the Avatar made the mistake of trying to hug her when they were reunited. She threw him over the wall of her garden hard enough to kill anyone but an airbender, and ordered Sokka out after him, telling them that if either of them ever tried to touch her again she would kill them. For some reason, Toph's presence didn't upset her nearly as much. She talked calmly to the little earthbender, and even kissed her forehead when they said goodbye.

"I don't understand," Toph said afterwards, sounding much less brash than usual.

"Azula had her guards rape Katara," Zuko explained bluntly. He'd never had much patience. Now he seemed to have none, and he was strongly tempted to punch Aang himself. How dared he try to touch Katara, as shattered as she was? "Repeatedly. For months. She doesn't like to be touched now."

Aang was the hardest to convince. It wasn't until Katara drove a spear of ice through his shoulder that he would accept that he couldn't help, and needed to leave. Sokka only approached her once, after the first rebuff, keeping a careful distance and talking about pleasant things. He blew her a kiss when he left, and Katara smiled just a little.

Zuko asked Toph to stay for a while. Katara seemed to like her company, and even to be able to touch her now and then, and whatever would comfort Katara, Zuko would do. Toph agreed, little face sad, and after that she spent at least part of every day with Katara, playing with the foxcat kittens Zuko had given her or learning to play Pai Sho with etched stone tiles.

Zuko visited every day too. Sometimes when Toph did, sometimes not - he had a lot of work to do.

One day, he didn't visit, sending a message to apologise and explaining that he had to travel down into the lower city and wouldn't return until very late.

The next morning, when he came to share her breakfast, Katara was sitting with her feet dangling in the pond, methodically tearing flowers apart petal by petal.

"Katara?" Zuko said quietly, when she didn't look at him. "Are you okay?"

"You didn't come," she said bitterly, eyes focused on the flower she was dismembering.

"I had to meet with the merchant's guild in the lower city." He knelt beside her, careful not to get too close. "I sent a message."

"But you didn't come." Her lip trembled. "You're tired of it, aren't you? Having to come every day."

"No!" Aghast, he reached out to clasp one of the restlessly moving hands gently. "Katara, visiting you is the best part of any day. I just didn't want to have to wake you early, or keep you up late."

She pulled away, still not looking at him. "I would have waited up for you, if you'd wanted me to."

"Then I'll remember next time." He sighed. "Sooner or later, though, I'm going to have to leave the capital. Not for long, but - "

She jerked away, rising and walking into the viewing house. "Fine. Go then."

"I don't want to!" Zuko snapped. "But I'm Fire Lord now. I have responsibilities - and I can't ask you to come with me, can I?"

"Why not? Because I'd embarrass you?" She turned to glare at him, and for the first time since their escape he saw tears in her eyes. "I thought... I thought... never mind, I was stupid. Just _go_ , Zuko."

"I don't know why you're mad!" Zuko got up, not bothering to brush the dirt off his robes. "I didn't think you'd _want_ to go! You don't like having people around, that's why I gave you this garden! But if we had to travel there'd be people all the time, and I couldn't keep you safe, and - "

"I can keep myself safe!" Katara flared. "If you don't want me then I'll go!"

Zuko opened his mouth to yell back, then realization seemed to hit him like a brick to the head.

She hadn't said 'if you don't want me here'.

She'd said 'if you don't want me'.

"I know you can keep yourself safe," he said quietly. "And if you want to go, you can. I would never restrain you, Katara. Not with so much as a word. I would never do anything to hurt you." He held her eyes with his, wanting her to understand. "Nothing matters more to me than you," he said softly. "I brought you here, Katara. Azula hurt you, captured you, because of me. I would give my _life_ to undo that, to make all the things that hurt you not have happened. But they did, and all I can do now is try to make you feel safe, so you have time to heal."

Katara's lip trembled. "Because you feel like you owe me something?"

"Because I do owe you something." He walked over to her, and slid to his knees before her, bowing his head. "Katara, how could I tell you... it frightened you when Aang tried to tell you what he felt. And I'm the one providing for you, taking care of you... how could I tell you something that would make you think you weren't safe with me, no matter how much I felt it?"

He heard her swallow hard. Then he felt the faint brush of fingertips against the top of his head. "Aang never asked me," she said quietly. "He kissed me without asking me if I wanted to. He grabbed me without... that's why I threw him over the wall. He was always trying to take what he wanted from me without asking." She sighed. "But you never did. You always let me make my own choice. Maybe that's why it doesn't make my skin crawl when you touch me."

He laughed, and it came out in a harsh, tearing gasp. "You're probably the only woman alive whose skin _doesn't_ crawl, then." He lifted his head, letting her see the scars covering nearly all of his face. "Children run away from me now."

Her soft hands settled on his face, on the old scar and the new, and she gazed down at him thoughtfully. "The old scar never bothered me," she said softly. "The new ones only do because they're my fault."

He blinked. "They're not - "

"Zuko, you were winning. You would have won if I hadn't been there, or if I'd dodged Azula's lightning. She only caught you because of me." Her thumb stroked over the new scar-tissue very gently. "You said you blame yourself for getting me caught. Didn't you realize that I was the one who got _you_ caught?"

He considered that. "No," he said, genuinely puzzled. "I brought you here. My fault. I should have known she would cheat."

"I thought that was why you _did_ bring me. I was supposed to stop her, and I couldn't." For the first time since before the comet came, Zuko heard her laugh quietly. "So we've both been blaming ourselves, when we both know it was Azula's fault really."

"Yes." He turned his head and ventured a gentle kiss on her palm. "I can't bear to see you hurt," he said simply. "I love you too much. Azula knew that. She knew that the worst thing she could do to me was tell me what she was doing to you."

"She did that to me too." Katara sighed, gazing down at him wistfully. "What Azula did... I'm not who I was. I killed a lot of people, and I enjoyed doing it. I can't control my temper anymore, and I'm... I'm kind of broken, Zuko. Do you really still love me?"

He nodded, his throat tightening. "With everything that's in me," he whispered. "Everything Azula left of me is yours."

When she bent to kiss him, he kissed her back, and for the first time in a long time, felt something that might have been happiness.


End file.
